The English national cricket squad is protesting an upcoming exhibition match with the American quidditch team. The English claim cricket and quidditch are two different sports much to the objection of the Americans who insist it is a communication error. “Something must be lost in translation,” says Malcolm Andrews, assistant coach of the quidditch team. “It’s like soccer. Over there they call it football and bathrooms are loos. Or something stupid like that.” Conversely, Bart Clough, captain of the cricketers: “stubborn as always, those Americans. We are not flying on broomsticks trying to catch a snitch. We are professional bloody athletes!”

Trying not to let this distract them, the players on both teams continued to practice their fielding, hitting, flying and magical spells.

– Mike Sweeney


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