Guy at the end of every bar.

In the words of modern-day Wordsworth Dane Cook, there is one person in every group of friends that nobody likes.  And Stu Klimek of Lancaster, PA might be the gold medal winner.  Klimek, a lifelong Penn State football fan and current safety chief for his brother Phil’s construction crew, spends the majority of his time making jokes about the Penn State-Jerry Sandusky scandal.  “We all giggled at the first one,” said bartender Jessup. “It relieved some of the tension.  But it’s all the time with this guy… it’s… I don’t now.”

Klimek clearly does not realize how much he is alienating his former bar mates; every joke, comment continues to regard the current situation at the University.  Despite numerous protests, which started merely as moving one to two bar stools down and have escalated to minute grumbles and and the occasional loud cough, Klimek is not getting it.

“You don’t hear great comedians like Dane Cook saying that s***!” yelled Anibelle, one of the waitresses at McGill’s, the bar everyone in Lancaster frequents.  “Mr. Cook brings the funny using class and cleverness.”

“He is becoming everything he’s laughing at,” says local bar patron Al.  Just Al.  “He’s the creepy guy now.  Unlike Dane Cook, a guy who knows funny inside and out.  Who’d make fun of that?  It’s not funny.  Anyone who has cracked a single joke is a weirdo.  Yes.  Everyone.  Even a small little jab just to deal with it makes you officially a bad person.  Going to down to hell probably.”

Going down to hell?  Sounds like a name for the movie about OH GODDAMMIT!

This is a photo of Not-A-Douche

Ed Note: Someone needs to make us laugh again.  When’s the next Dane cook special?  No old Dane Cook.  Yeah I like his old stuff.  Hey what’s Carlos Mencia doing these days? 



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