In what has been a war of attrition for over ten years now, Pardon The Interruption‘s Mike Wilbon finally went ahead and murdered Tony Korneheiser. After Kornheiser jokingly said the New York Yankees should sign Tim Tebow because he’s a winner like Jeter, Wilbon lunged across the desk stabbing Kornheiser seven times in the face, abdomen and eye. Kornheiser still clearly won the round as he had 24 points to WIlbon’s 18.
PTI is a show designed by the serial killer Jigsaw to test Wilbon’s desire to live. The elaborate traps pit the respected columnist against Kornheiser for 22 minutes every single day, forced to debate sports related issues with the obvious psychotic. Originally conceived as a torture trap creation show in which host Jigsaw would have 3 days to create elaborate devies to ruin the lives of the selected targets, PTI was picked up by ESPN and readjusted to fit the sports debate format. Jigsaw was given a choice of columnists and personalities he felt deserved to have their will power destroyed and he settled on Willbon, known as an overall good columnist and man.
Jay Mariotti was sought, but really pissed everyone off.
No one is sure how the show will replace Kornheiser or if Wilbon is permanently scarred psychologically or if he was in full control of his actions and realized it was his only way to escape.
Woody Paige has been hired.
Wilbon snapped Paige’s neck.