ALABAMA BEATS LSU IN GAME 2 OF 7

Alabama and LSU are now tied at one game apiece in the 2011 FBS Finals best-of-seven-series — after the Crimson Tide crushed the Tigers 21-0 tonight at the Superdome in New Orleans.  This is the first time the new college football playoff system (CFPS) has been used — after the much maligned BCS format was tossed out following years of criticism.

You guys only need 2 history electives?

The new system is simple — the top two teams in the country play a best-of-seven series, while the other 118 teams in the FBS sit at home like a bunch of assholes and complain about it.

During a post-game interview, Alabama head coach and known asshole Nick Saban commented on the new system, saying, “This is fucking stupid. Playing the same football team seven times to determine a winner? What is this, baseball? Do I look like Lou Gehrig to you?”

Saban continued, “Whoever decided on this shit didn’t understand what people meant when they said they wanted a playoff format in college football. I swear to God if that butt hugger Bug Selig is behind this I’ll cut his chubby hands off and feed them to my pet lion….”  The rest of Saban’s interview was unfit for print.

LSU head coach Les Miles was not nearly as critical after the game, telling reporters, “At first I thought playing a seven-game series was gosh-darned ridiculous. But after getting our bum bums handed to us like that tonight, we’re definitely going be ranked second … so I’m changing my tune. I’m totally up for a third, fourth, fifth, six or seventh rematch. Whatever it takes to take home that trophy, you know? Huck, huck!”

Game 3 is scheduled for February 25, and will be played on another completely neutral field in Louisiana.

But here’s the rub, if neither team can put the other away by Game 5 on April 12, then none of the players will be deemed eligible for 2012 NFL Draft, which is scheduled for April 26-28.

Saban: Give us a kiss. Miles: Okay... Saban: Haha fooled you! You're gay now!

If that happens, all non-graduating players will be forced to enroll in college for another year. As for those graduating in May, they’ll be “brown shirted” … meaning they can practice with team next season, but don’t technically go to the college anymore and aren’t allowed to play in games.

Sounds unfair to some, but life-long LSU fan Jim-Bob Daniels disagrees, telling This Is The Sports, “Shit mayne, that give muh-fuckas insensitive to play hard. Nah mean? No play hard, no NFL. Simple shit. Annit give me and awl my muh-fuckin homeys a reason to hand out black eyes to out-of-towners fer anotha few months. Shiiiiiit. Yo, anybody got a smoke I bum?”

Indeed.

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