In what is being heralded as one of the funniest things to happen to the professional football world in a long time, brothers Jim and John Harbaugh are dangerously close to forcing their parents to make a tough decision this weekend. Both son’s professional football teams are in their respective divisional Championship games.
“It will probably come down to who we like the most. John’s the funnier of the two, but he’s spent the last three Christmases and Thanksgivings at his wife’s side of the family. And Jim is probably the more talented, but once stole the keys to my 1973 Impala, and went joy riding with a buncha his highschool teammates. That still chaps my ass,” said the legendary father of two potential hall of fame athletes.
“Honestly, it’ll be a last minute decision–a hail mary, if you will!” chimed in Jackie, his supportive wife of over 50 years.
“Good one, dear!” shot back the senior Harbaugh.
Not everyone is amused with the pending decision, though. The Harbaughs’ next door neighbor, Anna Paley, recently expressed her thoughts on the matter at favorite Harbaugh family haunt Pete’s Diner, to anyone within earshot.
“Oh, how precious for them. Two wildly successful offspring. What to do, what to do? When they make a decision, let me know, will ya? They can help me figure out if I should pick up my kid who just got early parole, or clock in for my night shift at the factory,” said the poor tipper, with the unkempt lawn.

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