TODAY IN OVEREXPOSED WOMEN’S SPORTS

Typical Canadians shooting things first, and asking if there are fancy athletes in the vicinity later

Typical Canadians shooting first, and asking if there are fancy athletes in the vicinity later

Hours after arriving in Vancouver for the CONCACAF tournament, where the U.S. women’s soccer team hopes to qualify for this year’s London Games, a lone Canadian gunman entered the players’ hotel and opened fire in the adjoining bar.

None of the players were hurt, though the incident kept star goalie/dancer Hope Solo from making a post-practice caffeine run. “Was about to walk to starbucks [sic] when all hell broke loose in the lobby of our hotel! Life is precious…” Tweeted the Nike spokeswoman and Golden Glove Winner.

“Well, here we go again. First it was their heroics last year in Germany, and now the mainstream media feels compelled to mention that they were almost victims of a senseless tragedy,” lamented male soccer star Landon Donovan, on his way inside a Los Angeles area Pinkberry.

“I have it on good authority that ESPN ran the story somewhere on its futball homepage. To say nothing of all the press This is the Sports–where sports goes to get their sports–has been giving the team. I mean, when was the last time anyone gave a fig about the men’s national team? If we had been shot at, would anyone have cared?”

Sometime soon after making this remark, a tree in a distant forest allegedly fell down.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s