GREAT MOMENTS IN KAAAAAAHN: KAHN STUDIES KAZAAM AS GAME TAPE

Timberwolves infamous GM David Kahn recently reviewed the 1996 film KAZAAM as game tape for the team’s upcoming match ups.  The T-Wolves are having a rejuvenating year for the franchise with the emergence of point guard Ricky Rubio and the unconventional contract extension to all-star Kevin Love, but Kahn wants every advantage he can get.

“The game itself is won on the court,” professed Kahn.  “But also in the mind.  Basketball is Inception.  You have to win in the real world, then the first layer, then the weird second layer where the rooms move, that’s my favorite layer, then the third layer, then limbo.”

When reminded he was watching Kazaam, the critically torched film starring Shaquille O’Neal as a genie who befriends a young boy, Kahn insisted they were “basically the same movie.”

What up kiiiiid?

The following lessons will be incorporated onto the team’s game plan:

– Friendship makes champions

– If you love a tall black man, set him free, if he comes back, then he loves you / needs a place to crash

– The Triangle offense is not working

– Finding out who you are and where you come from are not necessarily the same thing

– Don’t pirate music (yup, rewatch the movie if you don’t believe me)

T-Wolves players and staff were visibly confused not only how to incorporate those bullet points into coherent schemes on the court, but also why Kahn demanded they all have said meeting in the steam room wearing three piece suits.

David Kahn builds the legend.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s