BIG EAST CLAIMS IT LEFT WEST VIRGINIA

Who doesn't want a piece of that sweet WV ass?!

Valentine’s Day is usually a time reserved for warm memories.  Not in college football.

The Big East conference and West Virginia officially broke up last Tuesday during a heated spat between the conference and university.  West Virginia claims it “saw this coming” and didn’t “want to let it linger any longer.”  The Big East, according to sources in the know, was ready to make it official with West Virginia, and brought a ring.

Fellow patrons at Stevie’s Steakhouse said the situation was “awkward.”

“The Big East bought a $300 bottle of wine and wanted me to come out with a cake,” says waiter Andy.  “Then he started waving me off, but I didn’t see it and brought out the cake and West Virginia was ducking her head under the table while Big East was crying.”

Big East, however, is telling all friends and media outlets it dumped WV.  “That’s just not true,” says former lover Boston College.  “I am on… friendly terms with the Big East and last I heard he was talking about buying a house big enough for kids.  He already got a dog.”

West Virginia has already moved on, claiming it met Big 12 “at work.”

Big East is the naked fat guy

UPDATE: West Virginia recently changed her cell number after getting an enormous amount of texts.

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