Last night Daytona was ablaze with Nascar excitement and literally flaming trucks of gasoline. Officials feared the rain delay and death-flame truck would mar Nascar’s Oscars, the Daytona 500, but it did just the opposite: ratings skyrocketed.
“The thick rain followed by ferocious fiery beasts made us realize this is the perfect way to watch Nascar,” said president Mike Helton. “We will explore the use of dragons, griffins and any mythical fiery beast to give the fans what they want.”
Critics of Nascar claim the sport needs to be less like rednecks driving in circles and more like Mario-Kart. Others suggesting a podracing, George Lucas-style approach, but then everyone laughed because that would a horrible fucking idea.
Nascar officials have already sent out scouts and search parties to gather the dragons. The plan is to incorporate the animals as early as 2013, however, the parties do not return for many moons.