MANNING-GATE: TEXANS MAKE MATT SCHAUB LINEBACKER

Houston Texans quartback Matt Schaub admitted he is “willingly shifting to linebacker” and that he “always wanted to play that position” and “loves his family so much and just wants to see them and make sure they are okay.”

YEAHBUHWHAAAAAA?

Heavily armed team officials stood behind the sweaty quarterback, linebacker, letting him know it is “okay” and everything “will be fine as long we all cooperate.”

The Texans just announced this morning they are interested in signing free agent quarterback Peyton Manning since Schaub made “his stunning and definitely out of nowhere” decision.

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