ANGELS MAKE PUJOLS WEAR MUSTACHE, CLAIM HE IS TWO PLAYERS

The Los Angeles Anaheimian Angels in America tried to pull a fast one today by “signing” Albert Pujols‘ “twin brother” Salbert.  Salbert, or Sal, is the future hall of famer’s identical twin except for his trademark mustache.  “He’s an amazing DH but might even play a little third base. I wonder if he can play it? I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen… him… before…” said suspicious sounding manager Mike Scoscia.

Albert Pujols

The Southwestern Angels of Orange County claim Pujols’ reunited with his twin and was amazed they had all the same interests, hit the exact same way and sounded exactly alike.  “It was truly amazing to meet him,” said Pujols.  “Would you guys like to speak with him? Let me go get him.”

Pujols then left to get Sal, who emerged twirling his mustache with a strange, Boston-sounding accent.  “I love this city!”

The two players will hit back to back in the lineup creating a dangerous one-two punch.  The Angelos Halos of This Here Earth are also lobbying for the use of “Ghost Runners,” usually reserved for 8 year olds who don’t have enough players.

Salbert Pujols

It is this reporters’ suspicion that Salbert is a fraud… BUT WHO?

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