AMAR’E STOUDEMIRE BLEEDS ON FIRE

Amare’s Basbeball stitching tattoo

Knicks center / forward Amar’e Stoudemire injured his right hand in the locker room after punching glass in front of a fire extinguisher.  However, many players now defend Stoudemire’s life svaing decision: “There was a small fire near Carmelo‘s locker,” says defensive player of the year Tyson Chandler. “Amar’e is a smart guy: he knows the safest way to put out a fire is to slash open your hand and bleed on it.”

“Fire extinguishers are notoriously unreliable,” says head coach Mike Woodson.  “Good thing Amar’e took a few classes on fire safety: blood puts out fires.”

This is the second heroic incident Amar’e has pulled since arriving in New York.  Last season a little girl lost her cat in a tree.  Stoudemire arrived at the scene, immediately slashed open his hand and bled all over the little girl.  While the cat was never seen again, she never missed her cat again.

The armed services repeatedly asked Mr. Stoudemire to travel to Iraq and bleed on IED’s, but it would interfere with the regular season.

Stay a hero Amar’e.  Stay a hero.

The Amare we deserve, but not the one we need right now

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