“Um… hello? Murderers?”

Jonathan Quick may have won the Conn Smythe award but he sure is a deadbeat dad.  The lynchpin to the Kings’ Stanley Cup, Quick was the first member of the team to have the Stanley Cup; the goalie took the prized trophy to the park and left it alone for over three hours.  The Cup claims Quick told him to sit down while he “got some cigarettes.”

Quick never came back.

The Cup waited for over 45 minutes before it got worried; once it started getting darker, he sought out a payphone.  A local shop owner let the Cup wait in his corner store while right winger Dustin Brown showed up.

The Cup did not sleep a wink waiting for a phone call or a note.  Brown finally admitted that “his dad is gone” and he’ll be “bouncing around for a while.”

Quick was last seen working construction gigs and living out of his 1995 station wagon, never looking behind.

He plays so wild because he’s a NO GOOD BUM!


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