CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP

How about them Giants / Patriots?

That was one heck of a weekend!  We got young pup Eli Manning leading his team down the field in overtime

Tom “The Haircut” Brady having an off day, but letting his defense keep him in the game!

A missed kick leaves Baltimore confused and angry, reminding everyone that we assume kickers are frequent targets of shower attacks!*

*R.I.P. Joe Pa

And lastly, we lose the second of the two Harbaughs as Alex Smith cannot save the day.

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!

Stuff I Learned

1. Patriots don’t need to be good to win.  That’s the key to this team: when they’re great, they win.  When they suck, the win games.  Is Belichick really the dark, demonic Shaman we always knew him to be?  It’d sure explain why he always carries no less than 13 knives and smells frequently like dried blood.

2.  Eli is ELITE!  With the back and forth, up and down, black and white Giants this year, we couldn’t quite figure out if Eli is ELITE.  Now we know.  This boy wants sandwiches 24/7.  I want sandwiches 23/6.  This mans hunger to win and eat sandwiches outlasts the Dowd’s own hunger.  He is LEGIT-ELITE.

LEGIT-ELITE ELI ELATED

3.  Harbaugh Bowl may never be.  Will one coach be fired?  Both? TIME WILL TELL US!  I hope time is answering emails, not silencing cameras like that kicker.  I hate kickers. IT’S NOT FOOTBALL!  Hopefully he gets his Ray Lewish just deserts.*

*A good talking to, I mean.  Not the…. well you know what Ray Lewis does to people.

4.  The 49ers have Alex Smith at quarterback.  You think they would’ve learned by now.  Despite their great season, they still had one glaring weakness: trotting out the young gunslinga.  He’s barely in gunsling mode.  He ran okay, but the guns were almost silenced.  Or on safety.  SAFETYS DON’T WIN FOOTBALL GUNSLINGAS DO!!

Gunslinga of the Week

FLACCO!  I know I know.  He didn’t win.  But the pupslinga is in full GUNSLINGA MODE!  Shame he couldn’t use that cannon all year.  He has been doubted all season long and showed up with a moustache to die for* and an attitude the media can get behind.  He gets a grilled chicken, pastrami mix for the stash and gun!

*Not literally, it is Baltimore after all. 

STASH!

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