White Sox slugger Adam Dunn has broken the single season record for most articles wondering why he is so bad. Congrats to Dunn! Baseball aficionados such as Rob NeyerJoe Posnanski and Fangraphs have all repeatedly said Dunn’s slump will not last forever. Dunn must read blogs! As of this writing he’s “hitting” .163 with a .289 OBP and 11 homers and 40 RBI’s.*

Said the DH: “They still have to pay me…. right?”

This is how you say "aw poop" using only facial expressions

The previous record holder was Chone Figgins of the Mariners.**

Dunn could not be here if it was not for his inability to improve (even by accident he should be performing better). Adding to the shock factor, of course, is he was signed solely for his offense. Scouts and stat-heads agree: Dunn’s defense*** is like a truck trying to have sex with a pigeon.**** His natural position is DH where is high walk total and three outcome performance make for agonizingly boring / effective as hell baseball. But not in 2011.

Dunn intends to sit the rest of the year hoping next year he can raise his batting average to his accustomed .220.

– STATS 360%

*For the few of you who do not understand what that means, imagine the batter is a person with no legs being stabbed repeatedly every at bat. He’d still hit better than .163 with a .289 OBP and 11 homers and 40 RBI’s. 

**To be fair to history, modern players have more media outlets to complain about them. Willie Mays‘ nightmare tenure with the Mets is the largely assumed all time leader; most records are lost, however. Could only add to the Say Hey Kid’s legacy. 

***If we can call it that… ZING!*****

**** This is the first thing you find in google when you search that

*****We hear at Stats .360% fully appreciate how difficult it is to play sports on a professional level and realize Dunn is a phenomenal athlete and genuinely nice guy. To be read as: don’t hurt us. 

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