LOCKOUT: KOBE PLAYS IN PARK, DEMANDS 25 MILLION

Kobe Bryant shot around in a local Los Angeles park for a few minutes before demanding “his hard earned 25 mill.”  Onlookers and local players stared at the superstar confused, only upon seeing his Kobe Face did they realize Bryant was serious.  “Kobe is The Lakers,” said Bryant’s agent Rob Pelinka.  “He’s earned that money by being in that park and warming up for seven to eight minutes.  Plus he’ll hit me if I don’t get the money.”

Local grocer Anthony King said “I’m not sure what we’re supposed to pay him with.  Most of us are here because we work part time or are unemployed.” Bryant continued his demands and even settled by going through numerous players’ pockets collecting change and a few singles in the process, adding up to $17.82.  Bryant threw a fit and demanded his entire team (skins) be traded back to shirts.  He also requested to change pinnies to a different number.  The onlookers continued in confusion and thought it best to ignore the superstar; the tactic worked.  Bryant watched for a few moments, yelled, waved his hands and eventually gave up after knocking over a child’s ice cream cone.

"I WANT MY MONEY!"

Bryant bought a loaf of bread from a nearby Vons and demanded $180,000 for the performance.