GOLFERS TRADE CADDIES

"Smile Jeff" "It's Chris" "Shut the fuck up Jeff"

In a shocking deadline move Bo Van Pelt and Rickie Fowler have swapped caddies. The two world ranked challengers admitted their current slumps called for a change; both caddies were stunned. “Never thought I’d leave that squad ya know,” said one of the teary eyed nameless caddies.* “The team, the bag, the clubs, the golfer… classy organization through and through.” Considering both bag carriers’ current high salaries, which is insane, Van Pelt will also receive a minor league caddy or a high numbered iron to be named later. After completion of the trade neither golfer remembered which caddy was his.

Both caddies cried.

– Mike Sweeney

*He insisted on giving us a name. We insisted we will forget, it does not matter caddy.