UFC FIGHTER DID GAY PORN… DUH

UFC Fighter Dakota Cochrane admitted to performing in homosexual pornography while in college; a decision he now regrets.  “I needed the money,” says Dakota strangle-holding his sparring partner with his supple upper thighs. “I have never done anything remotely like that since. I had a girlfriend at the time.”

Dakota Cochrane at his current weight in.

It is a brave confession by someone willing to bury the past and move forward, but some UFC fighters have been turned off by this whole situation: while shopping for athletic tights with friend Terry, Thiago Alves said “we’re a bunch of guys getting physical, we don’t need someone like that in our league. Oh no I hate those…”

Others support such a bold UFC gesture: Ben Henderson pinned down shirtless by two moist, muscular black guys says he is fine with any homosexual behavior “I don’t mind what anyone does in their private life so long as it stays there,” he said as his trainer pre-chewed the protein powder and sprinkled it onto hs chest. “This is a man’sleague, call me a whore,” “you’re a whore” “SPIT ON ME BITCH!”  Henderson encouraged fellow mixed martial artists to have movie night and watch the film with Cochrane, who said “we don’t have to do that.  Ever.  I literally would never suggest that.”

Henderson was defiant: “WE WILL TOLERATE DAKOTA! NO LET’S WATCH TWO DUDES FUCK!”  The tirade was followed by a screening at his home with ample hor dourves.  Those in attendance remarked, “it was weird.”

The UFC, like all of us, is making progress.  Those silly gooses.

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