The Houston Texans and Atlanta Falcons were caught making out in the tunnel during halftime of Houston’s 17-10 win on Sunday. The first half between the two teams was riddled with sexual tension; during the half they could not stand it anymore. With Houston up 10-3, both teams jogged into the tunnel at Reliant Stadium. The Falcons were stunned to jog into a tunnel filled with dark, red mood lighting and soft, sultry steam coming off the walls. The Texans followed, closing the door behind them. The Falcons, admittedly, were confused: “at first we didn’t know what to do,” said quarterback Matt Ryan. “We all know Houston’s reputation. But he’s so different in person.”
The Texans remarked how hot it was, thus everyone on the roster took off their shirts in what was an obviously rehearsed, slow motion maneuver executed to perfection by the offense. Coach Gary Kubiak said the team “executed to perfection” through the entire game, but especially in the tunnel. One reporter giggled “more like sexecuted.” No one laughed.
The Falcons had a rough second half, clearly flushed and confused. During a post game press conference, Ryan hoped the Texans would call, but coolly mentioned he “doesn’t care wither way.”