Knicks owner James Dolan has hired Eric Mangini as head of the New York Knicks. Dolan cited Mangini’s experience coaching in New York when he was with Jets, his years under defensive mastermind Bill Belichick and his no nonsense approach to coaching football. “All these things should make the Knicks a better basketball team,” said an enthusiastic and sober(?) Dolan.
Dolan thinks Mangini can reinvigorate Carmelo Anthony and really get the best out of Dikembe Mutumbo. Mutumbo, of course, is the legendary center who is currently retired and last played for the Knicks in 2003. When asked if he knew this, Dolan claims he has no idea who Mutumbo is and firmly denied ever talking about him. Dolan then reminded the crowd that JD and the Straight Shot have an upcoming gig and they “totally need to be there! Say my name at the door and tickets are half off!”
Mangini elaborated that he’s honored to coach this franchise and lead them to the playoffs. Bill Belichick heard the news this morning and is currently lobbying to be Boston Celtics coach just to “kick Mangini’s fat ass.”
– Mike Sweeney