ELI HAS “FUMBLE” AND “INTERCEPTION” ON WRIST BAND

"Eli go in locker room? Let me check...."

New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning‘s wrist band has ten options: number 4 is interception and number 9 is fumble. This surprised Giants coaching staff, especially Tom Coughlin, who was thoroughly impressed Eli had gotten up to 10.

“It’s not what the options are that matters, it’s that Eli recognizes he can do many different things,” said a damage controlling Coughlin. “We worked all off season on writing down ideas that help, rather than using his brain.”

Fans were not happy though, that Eli even included two horrific decisions, but again, Coughlin stood by his QB: “Its option four! FOUR! Would you rather it be higher? It’s not 2010 anymore!”

Eli left the wrist band in the shower. Usually Manning never removes the band, as on the back it features detailed instructions on how to get home, his weekly grocery list and his social security number.

Tom Brady has a picture of himself modeling; Matt Hasselbeck has sudoku; Philip Rivers has porn

– Mike Sweeney