Shaquille O’Neal’s new book, Shaq Uncut: My Story, is already rife with controversy. The book features harsh criticisms of former teammate Kobe Bryant, former coach Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Pat Riley. However, the biggest shock comes from the book itself; Shaq uses numerous big boy sentences throughout. It is a stunning revelation in the world of the Shaqtus, long thought to be illiterate.
Many are attributing the proper grammar and diverse vocab to writer Jackie MacMullan. However, in the last chapter Shaq reveals a feud he had with her as well.
All in all, another accomplishment for the Big Aristotle.
“When I balled in Miami, FLOR, coach Pat wasnt good or helpful. Somestime I didn’t like him. Other times I did. I was contemptual to say the least.”
“Kobe had sex with a lady and not goodness happened. Hurt team. We say ‘Kobe I Shaq, shall help you if you’ll bequeath me.’ Turns out I was the one doing the bequetheathing.
“Kareem show sky hook. Shaq no sky hook. Big Aristotle use words not long, dumb arms.”
“Shaq sleep now. Good night world. Thank looking at word pictures.”
And what beautiful word pictures they are.
– Mike Sweeney