PEYTON MANNING MEDICALLY CLEARED FOR BEST BUY ADS

Peyton Manning has been medically cleared to perform in Best Buy commercials in 2012.

Manning has had numerous surgeries the past 12 months including as recently as September.  The hall of fame spokesman and SNL host’s commercial career has been jeopardized by the surgery as he missed the entire Fall 2012 audition season; Best Buy president showed concern over Manning’s ability to continue.  “Sure he’s healthy, but we won’t know if he can perform until we start rolling.”

Many speculated Manning would be released from his contract in favor of a much younger, developing sales person, such as Jonah Hill, fresh off an Oscar nod.  We won’t truly know how healthy Manning is until he looks us in the eye, smiles and convinces us Best Buy is the place for tablet computers.

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MANNING-GATE: COLTS DRAFT ANDREW LUCK IN MIDDLE OF PEYTON’S FAREWELL SPEECH

The Indianapolis Colts officially drafted Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck in the middle of Peyton Manning’s farewell speech yesterday.  The Stanford QB is seen as a can’t miss prospect and potential franchise quarterback who can lead the team to multiple Super Bowls.

The scene was not without incident, however; unemployed, former SNL host Peyton Manning stood on the stage at the podium and had to forcibly removed.  He was violently detained for several hours to ensure the safety and health of Luck.

"I would just like to say BADURR and it's BADURR to BADURRRRRRR"

Owner Jim Irsay said he hopes to keep Luck in Indy “forever and ever!”

Manning’s glory days: