NBC Sports Channel is going over another name change; the station will now be called the FOOTBALL 24/7 NETWORK. The network, formerly called Versus, has been the home of America’s NHL television since the loss of the 04-05 NHL season, which canceled many of the league’s television contracts. In order to boost ratings network officials have decided to make a more attractive name, “one that grabs people’s attention,” says president Dan Gough. “What says ‘watch our hockey’ more than ‘football!?'”
Officials decided to change the name upon realizing the only thing worse for ratings than hockey was putting NBC on it.*
ZING! Ha....
Versus / NBC Sports Channel / FOOTBALL 24/7 NETWORK will be home to the NHL regular season and an estimate 102 of the 134 playoff games. “With all this great hockey to show it’s important we get viewers interested. We’re excited for the upcoming season to start…. Starts in a week? It hasn’t started right?” Officials are considering keeping the NBC brand intact with the FOOTBALL 24/7 NETWORK and may again change the name to FOOTBALL 24/7 NETWORK PRESENTED BY ALEC BALDWIN STAR OF 30 ROCK. Baldwin could not be reached for comment as he was drinking whiskey in Awesometown.**
– Mike Sweeney
*Aaaaaaaand ZING!
**Ed Note: Official This Is The Sports policy is to include a link to The Shadow any time Mr. Baldwin is referred.
Related: Commodore starts playoff beard.
THIS IS THE SPORTS 