FIGURE SKATING, GYMNASTICS CONFOUND PERVS, NON-PERVS

Boorish? No, he contends.

“I met the curator of the Met once, and we ended up chatting for quite a bit,” Dan Phillips says.

Un-artistic? Absolutely not, says the significant other.

“He’s not going to admit it, but choreography was one of the ways he paid his way though college,” his fiancee, Kyra Mosenberg, volunteers. “He loves artistry, especially the artistry of the body in motion.”

Homophobic?

“My older brother Ben is gay, and he’s one of my best friends,” Dan counters.

But when I mention figure skating, a look of disdain, if not outright revulsion, darkens Dan’s face. “Don’t like it. Can’t even watch it, really. There’s something about it that just puts me off.” Later, when we’re alone, Kyra sheds some light on the real reason behind his disdain. “I was before we met,” she begins. “He was watching a figure skater go through her routine. He was really getting into it– not in, like, a creepy way, but with his knowledge of dancing he really saw how graceful, how beautiful she was. Then the routine ended, and the announcers mention that the girl was 16 years old. Sixteen! He told me how horrified he was, and begged me not to leave him for being interested in an underage girl.”

I dare you. I double-dog dare you.

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